Breakfast of Champions 

 

(This is her attempt at a selfie. Drunk.)

 

I’m at my grandparent’s house this weekend and my conversation this morning went a little like this…

Grandma: “I think I’m gonna make myself a drink.” *pulls out a bottle of vodka

Me: “Granny, it’s 9am…”

Grandma: *shrugs her shoulders “I’ll put it in a coffee cup then.”

 

 

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What Women Want

new-photo

I have been debating whether or not to write about this topic but, f-it. Here it is. I do realize this is a movie and a very cliche title. Anyway…

This post is the result of my best girlfriend and I having a hilarious conversation about her husband, and him not understanding what she wants. During our conversation, we started discussing guys in general and how simple things should be..oh.so.obvious. But hey, I’m a female, so I’m biased. Also, when I’m saying women, I don’t mean all.

Before writing this, I spoke with around 6 different females and reached a similar consensus for all. Duh. Because research.

Security

First off, women want security, they need to feel safe. This could range anywhere from feeling physically safe, like in a dangerous situation. Or feeling safe in their relationship with you. Safety in these terms mean, they don’t think you’re running off cheating or God knows what. You need to make sure that they know, they are the only ones. Ever. This will save a ton of time arguing about you liking another girl’s Instagram pic or favoriting a tweet. When a girl tells you that she doesn’t care about that stuff. She does because well I’m that girl. Now, I’m getting off topic… To reiterate. Security!


So Fresh and So Clean

I can’t say this enough, guys clean yourself up. Not all guys but you know who you are. You expect women to shave/wax and be all cute and girly. Yea, well you need to do that shit too. You don’t want a lady bush, well we don’t want a man bush. If she tells you it’s fine! LIAR! Shit’s gross. And guys, freaking bathe. Side note, my gf was telling me about her husband coming home after work and he was trying to initiate sex. She pretty much ran from him. Her exact words, “Taylor, I could literally smell how gross he was and was thinking about his nasty, sweaty balls. It made me want to vomit.” You’re hearing it straight from the source people.

“Point Blank. Be Drake”

Motion in the Ocean

“It’s not about the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean.” I literally can’t tell you enough how much this is true. So even if you are a small little guy, you can still rock her world or his world (whichever you prefer). Here’s how….learn to dance. Don’t stop reading. So I have this theory that guys who have rhythm are actually pretty good in bed. Multiple sources have also confirmed this for me. Another one of my friends told me, “My husband is not good in bed. He’s like a jackhammer and it’s not fun for me.” And guess what, her best lay was a guy that could dance. Imagine that! So, break out your dancing shoes and start working those hips. Also, keep it interesting. Don’t do the normal all the time. You can thank me later. 🙂

Communication

This is totally one of the most important points. I can’t tell you enough that you should always communicate with your partner. Always. Communicate about everything. It doesn’t matter if it’s stupid. At least they will know how you are feeling. I know a lot of guys who just don’t communicate at all and then you have your girl sitting there like they did something wrong. Point blank, Be Drake.


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You Don’t Need to be a Fitness Model

Another point my gf made was that her husband has stopped working out regularly. And it’s causing a crash in their sex life. She’s feeling less attracted to him. Don’t think my girl is conceited but all of us are superficial to a point. And to say that you don’t judge on looks…give me a break. The first thing you see in someone is their looks. This all sounds cold hearted but it’s our animalistic behavior and we cannot avoid science. Just saying. Anyway, back to business. My gf wishes that her husband would still take care of himself. She is not a model of fitness but she does run frequently and eats well. She just wishes he would do the same. So, I’m not telling you to be a fitness model but just be healthy for your partner. Or work out together. I can’t tell you how sexy it is to work out with your partner, but that’s just me.

Listen, I’m not a love guru by any means and don’t think this is a post about my gf’s and I sitting around bitching about our love lives (okay, well it kind of is). My point is, we want guys or girls to know it’s not cool to have a double standard in a relationship. More than likely if you want your girl or guy to do something or look a certain way, then the other probably wants the same. Take this with a grain of salt. If it helps you great, if not, well that’s cool too. As always, I try to help!

Love ya’ll!

Taylor

What Obsession?!

So I’m sitting at work, minding my own business and someone comes up to me and asks “Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be obsessed with Harry Potter?” I take a sip of my coffee and say, “What makes you think I’m obsessed? Now be gone with you muggle!”

The only laughter I heard was my own. I find myself hilarious sometimes…

Happy Thursday Ya’ll!


That Thrift Game

I love finding a great deal! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!  So I am very excited to share this amazing thrift find! This beautiful Tory Burch dress usually goes for $300 but I found this beaut for $5! Can I get an AMEN! I paired it with some cute wedges (Steve Madden) and an adorable necklace! ❤️❤️❤️   And by the way, this is totally a Southern Belle outfit! MUAH!


When we were young…

When I was young(er), I wanted to be a veterinarian. That was my dream! I LOVED and still love animals. I use to bring home injured animals and I would treat them. My mom use to get pissed! LOL!!

Me being a vet, wasn’t completely far fetch but after a horrific accident that left me bleeding out, I realized that I couldn’t stand the sight of blood. Yuck! I passed out several times during the accident…quite embarrassing.

After the incident, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do…then I became very interested in crime scene investigations. So, I began doing research about what I wanted to do. Did I want to be a criminal profiler? Did I want to be in forensics?  There were so many things. I was also probably in my late teens and was stressing so much about this life decision.

I researched the FBI and the CIA! But very quickly realized that it wasn’t for me! At the point when I was in college, I still was trying to find my place.

I actually didn’t know what I wanted to do until my 2nd full-time job in the actual workforce.  It was an event coordinating and marketing gig. I loved it so much! I actually enjoyed going to work and staying late. It never got old! I still love it till this day.

The funniest part about it all was that I didn’t actually know what I wanted to do until I was 25 and, like I said at my 2nd full time job in the real world.  It’s amazing where life takes us! And sometimes I still wish that I could find that little girl down deep and tell her “don’t stress out trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, your time will come!”

I still silently chant this to myself every day!

What did you want to be when you were younger? Or are you still searching? Let’s hear it?!

 

 

Photo credit: http://www.people.ucsc.edu

 


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