So I have been working on a novel and have been kind of stuck. I would like to share an excerpt in an effort to get some feedback. My hope is to get constructive criticism and hopefully get out of this rut.
Also, it is currently snowing in Chicago and it’s beautiful!
Please let me know your thoughts!
“You’re perfect, Vanessa,” he said while his finger gently brushed a piece of hair off of her face. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until he moved his hand. She sighed heavily and said “Oh come on, stop. Now, you’re just being silly.” She looks down because she can’t seem to keep eye contact with him for too long.
He looks at her, “you sure can’t take a compliment, can you?” She looks up and then that gorgeous smile spreads across his face and it stirs a very deep sensation within her. She feels her shoulders arch back and her knees push tighter together. She envisions his lips on her neck slowly kissing lower and lower, moving towards her collarbone. “Hey Vanessa, are you still with me??” He startles her and she snaps out of her dream and they continue to discuss work…
9 Months Earlier
“Beatrice, there will be some new changes, again, in the scheduling. I’m sorry to do this but can you stay later today so we can catch up on this work?” she asks her assistant while she is holding a stack of papers. More and more projects were being added lately and it seemed that nothing was going right for Vanessa. She recently accepted a new position as a Director at a firm and she really thought things would get better. She was making more money, recently engaged, but she still wasn’t happy. Her boss really micro-managed her and she could never get anything completed because he always seemed to be standing in the way. He was also very short-tempered and was constantly putting down her and her staff’s work ethic. She has also started a really unhealthy habit of taking down one bottle of wine a night and then passing out due to her building anxiety and alcohol induced sleep.
Anyway…there is a little slice. It’s actually the beginning of the novel, so just let me know what you think!