Writer’s Block

So I have been working on a novel and have been kind of stuck. I would like to share an excerpt in an effort to get some feedback.  My hope is to get constructive criticism and hopefully get out of this rut.

Also, it is currently snowing in Chicago and it’s beautiful!

Please let me know your thoughts!

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“You’re perfect, Vanessa,” he said while his finger gently brushed a piece of hair off of her face. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until he moved his hand. She sighed heavily and said “Oh come on, stop. Now, you’re just being silly.” She looks down because she can’t seem to keep eye contact with him for too long.

He looks at her, “you sure can’t take a compliment, can you?” She looks up and then that gorgeous smile spreads across his face and it stirs a very deep sensation within her. She feels her shoulders arch back and her knees push tighter together. She envisions his lips on her neck slowly kissing lower and lower, moving towards her collarbone. “Hey Vanessa, are you still with me??” He startles her and she snaps out of her dream and they continue to discuss work…

9 Months Earlier

“Beatrice, there will be some new changes, again, in the scheduling. I’m sorry to do this but can you stay later today so we can catch up on this work?” she asks her assistant while she is holding a stack of papers. More and more projects were being added lately and it seemed that nothing was going right for Vanessa. She recently accepted a new position as a Director at a firm and she really thought things would get better. She was making more money, recently engaged, but she still wasn’t happy. Her boss really micro-managed her and she could never get anything completed because he always seemed to be standing in the way. He was also very short-tempered and was constantly putting down her and her staff’s work ethic. She has also started a really unhealthy habit of taking down one bottle of wine a night and then passing out due to her building anxiety and alcohol induced sleep.

_____

Anyway…there is a little slice.  It’s actually the beginning of the novel, so just let me know what you think!

Thanks!

T

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16 thoughts on “Writer’s Block”

      1. The only major thing I’d recommend is the tense you are using seems strange; I don’t know if you intentionally have it in present-tense but most stories are written in past-tense. It isn’t unheard of to write a book in present-tense but you don’t see it very often because it has a lot of disadvantages. Check out this site for some insight:

        http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/the-pros-and-cons-of-writing-a-novel-in-present-tense

        Either way if that’s what you’re going for, do it to it. 🙂

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      2. If it feels right I wouldn’t worry about it too much right now. Just get all your initial ideas written down, you can bring in your mental clean up crew later. 🙂 The most important part of writing is writing.

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  1. It looks like you are off to a good start. I have written in the present tense too. Sometimes I go back and change all of it but sometimes that’s just the way I want it to read. It’s your choice, do what feels right to you. I’m on the third chapter of a started novel and I am bring the background of most of my characters as I go along. The main character was brought out to a degree right away. The rest, they are coming a little at a time. I don’t know if that is how I will leave it or not. I have a plan and I know what direction I’m going but not exactly how I’m getting there. I think this will take a while. So follow the tips people have given you. They generally help a lot. And, of course go with your heart. Sounds good so far girl, keep writing.
    Sandy

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    1. I’m really trying to write! I need to set aside some time to dedicate to it! I’ve always wanted to write a non-fiction novel but I think I need to finish what I started as of now!

      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

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