So…I’m not sure what made me decide to write about insults but I have been on fire with my comebacks lately and I’d thought I would dabble with this post. So you’re welcome!
Starting off, as you can read from previous posts, my mom and I have a very strained relationship..very. And I try to cope through jokes when I am around her, and really my family in general. It’s kind of my outlet and my thing. So you better believe that any chance I get, I will totally take a shot at her or really anyone for that matter. Some say I take it too far, others say I’m hilarious. I prefer the latter.
So, my mom and I were on the phone last night, and she proceeds to sometimes tell me wayyy too much information.
Here is mine and my mom’s conversation.
Mom: Honey you will not believe what happened!
Mom: I mean it’s really unreal.
Me: Okay? I’m still waiting…
Mom: It’s too crazy to even say out loud.
Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?!
*As you can see, I am very patient.*
Mom: Fine! Relax. (Pause)I thought I was pregnant…Can you believe that?
Mom: Well aren’t you going to say anything??
Me: Well what do you want me to say? I mean, shit Mom, I thought you were going through menopause?
Mom: How old do you think I am?!
Me: I mean, I thought your lady parts were like dust at this point…
Me: *peeing my pants from laughter.
Mom: *hangs up phone.
Lol…I’m such an ass. That is all.